{"id":4720,"date":"2022-02-07T08:35:43","date_gmt":"2022-02-07T13:35:43","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/areathirtythree.com\/blog\/?p=4720"},"modified":"2026-03-19T02:44:43","modified_gmt":"2026-03-19T06:44:43","slug":"skinning-the-figurative-zordnuck","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/areathirtythree.com\/blog\/skinning-the-figurative-zordnuck\/","title":{"rendered":"Skinning the (Figurative) Zordnuck"},"content":{"rendered":"

ASTRID AND LILLY SAVE THE WORLD – Episode 2 – Teeth – SPOILERS<\/h4>\n
\"Julia<\/a>

Candace<\/strong> (Julia Doyle<\/a>)<\/p><\/div>\n

Astrid’s exuberance over successfully dispatching last episode’s monster gets the better of her. She screams her happiness to the heavens and a rift opens up above the entrance to Pine Academy High School, dousing Principal Varshidi<\/strong> (Marvin Ishmael<\/a>) and his assistant Michelle<\/strong> (Megan Hutchings<\/a>) with what appears to be dirty water. (While messy, the suspension of black material is apparently non-toxic, and not particularly smelly.) Last episode, Astrid and Lilly’s intense outpouring of emotion created an inter-dimensional portal. This time, with a lesser degree of emotional turbulence, a tiny, temporary rip in the fabric of space is created, just enough to let a splash of unidentified liquid through). It was not mentioned, but it is possible that Varshidi and Knight should be monitored for latent ill effects of the stuff. <\/p>\n

\"Principal<\/a>

Principal Varshidi<\/strong> and his assistant Michelle after being doused with extra-dimensional slop<\/p><\/div>\n

Amateur astronomer Eggs Walczak<\/strong> (Michael McCreary<\/em>) observes a looping cosmic string through his telescope, and calculates that it is directly over coordinates 41.3684 North & 82.1079 West. He corners Astrid and Lilly, tells them he knows they’re up to something, and offers them the information. Google maps<\/a> says those coordinates represent a spot within Elyria, Ohio (just outside of Cleveland). <\/p>\n

Brutus<\/strong> (Olivier Renaud) gives Astrid and Lilly a specially tuned oboe to vanquish a being called a Razor<\/em>, who always takes the form of a woman but whose preferred food is testosterone. The sighting of the cosmic string fits with the use of the oboe (even though it is not a stringed instrument). According to string theory, the universe consists entirely of (very small) strings vibrating at many different frequencies, so (stretching a point) the right sound frequencies could change matter from one form to another (and possibly destroy a Razor<\/em>).<\/p>\n

\"Michael<\/a>

Jonas<\/strong> (Michael Worthman)<\/p><\/div>\n

Brutus explains that he has been immersing himself in local pop culture, and offers Astrid<\/strong> (Jana Morrison<\/a>) some advice. “True love,”<\/em> he says, “is the most important thing in any dimension. So, what you need to do is ask him out. Nothing crazy. Just see if he wants to leap a few craters, skin a Zordnuck<\/em>. Basic first date stuff.”<\/em> (He reminds himself he’s talking to humans, and continues.) “I’m assuming that human boys lack confidence just as much as monster girls.”<\/em> Lilly<\/strong> (Samantha Aucoin<\/a>) asks him why he’s so into this stuff and he quotes Pat Benatar: “Love is a battlefield.”<\/em> Brutus may have more complex reasons for helping close the portal than we know about.<\/p>\n

\"Sheila<\/a>

Sally<\/strong> (Sheila McCarthy<\/a>)<\/p><\/div>\n

Astrid finally gets up the courage to ask Sparrow<\/strong> (Spencer Macpherson<\/a>) out. (He says yes.) Lilly’s love life is showing signs of improvement as well. In photography class, Candace manages to arrange it so that she and Lilly must take each other’s portrait.<\/p>\n

LILLY:<\/strong> “You can go first. I don’t like my picture taken. Um, what are you doing?”<\/em>
\nCANDACE:<\/strong> “Hello? Posing.”<\/em>
\nLILLY:<\/strong> “For who? That’s not the real you.”<\/em>
\nCANDACE:<\/strong> “So, what do you think is the real me?”<\/em>
\nLILLY:<\/strong> “Someone much bitchier for starters.”<\/em><\/p>\n

Candace laughs, and spends the rest of the episode flirting with Lilly. Suggested ship name: Canilly<\/em>.<\/p>\n

\"Christina<\/a>

Valerie<\/strong> (Christina Orjalo<\/a>) and her friend from drama class. Her unnamed friend is played by Emma Troake, who also appeared in the pilot episode of SURREALESTATE<\/a><\/p><\/div>\n

After a few false starts that get them in further difficulty with Mr. Varshidi (and get Astrid grounded), Lilly identifies Sally<\/strong> (Sheila McCarthy<\/a>) as the Razor<\/em> (so called because it has 23,371 teeth). They confront the beast, but when Astrid has a moment of doubt and pauses her oboe playing, Sally puts forward the argument that she only devours bullies and that getting rid of such folk is a desirable thing. Sally almost escapes while the monster hunters figure out what’s wrong with that argument, but they eventually do. The oboe playing continues and Sally is destroyed.<\/p>\n

Before being vanquished, Sally consumed two large male students and came close to devouring Christine’s daughter Val. (The next day, Val recalls nothing of having her head in the mouth of the Razor<\/em>. The only thing she remembers is Sally giving her a “surprise facial”. “It was so relaxing, I literally passed out,”<\/em> she says. Apparently Razor<\/em> saliva is good for the skin.<\/p>\n

Astrid & Lilly Episode Three<\/a><\/p>\n

\n

ASTRID AND LILLY SAVE THE WORD can be streamed on CRAVE TV<\/a> in Canada.<\/center> <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

ASTRID AND LILLY SAVE THE WORLD – Episode 2 – Teeth – SPOILERS Astrid’s exuberance over successfully dispatching last episode’s monster gets the better of her. She screams her happiness to the heavens and a rift opens up above the …<\/span> <\/p>\n

+<\/p>\n

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